Roots and Wings

"So much of parenting is negotiating endings, the unceasing process of disconnecting the strings that tie our children to us, preparing them for a life of their own. That has always been the ache and beauty of it for me - taking the deep breath and trusting somehow in the goodness of life, in God, in something beyond." Sue Monk Kidd
The wedding that seemed forever away for so long is almost here. And the happiness I feel for Dan to finally have Bre as his wife definitely overshadows the lump in my throat when I think of the space she'll leave behind in our home.

I have never been great at "negotiating endings" even though I've had lots of practice. At work too there are many transitions this time of year as leaders graduate and move on and I need to remind myself of the sweet hellos that are waiting to happen even as I say goodbye to these amazing young people who have carved a place in my heart.

One of my favorite, favorite authors is Macrina Wiederkehr. Her piece, "Roots and Wings" is beautiful and can be applied to so many of the hellos and goodbyes we experience in the course of a lifetime.

Roots and wings
I yearn for most of all
My longing to stay
My longing to go, come
wrapped in the same package.
I struggle.

It is very much the same
when we fall into each other's lives.
Our roots say;
Stay!
Set up your tent!
Be at home here!

Our wings say:
Continue your journey!
Don't get root bound!
Keep dreaming of something beyond!

When you love someone
you have to let them go.
It's the only way to keep them.

Weaving in and out of lives
I've come to know
the letting go
as the surrender in that war
between my roots and wings.
It is blessing!
It is grace!
It is victory!
It is pain!

Paul felt it too (Philippians 1:21-26)
anguishing over
his place on earth
his home in heaven.

I live now
not I
but you,
all of you,
live on in me.

I never knew the Body of Christ could be so intimate.

Kum ba yah & a Kampfire!

Saturday was such a fun day! After lunch with some of my favorite ladies, Dale & I headed out to beautiful Wildwood, Ga to one of my favorite places owned by one of my favorite couples, John & Kris Bridger. I am a country girl at heart and I love their little piece of paradise which includes a sprawling ranch house complete with a wisteria canopy over the front porch, chickens scratching in the backyard, a tire swing, and a creek.

Kris lives life with the wonder of a child and she is an absolute delight to be around! After a delicious dinner of chicken and vegetable skewers on the grill we did something that I haven't done for 5 years, since we moved here. We had a campfire! What good memories I have of our campfire times on 76th Street in the backyard and how I've missed that! We introduced the Bridgers, the Masons, & Martha to the fine art of making cherry pies in the Tonka Toasters and we also had our first s'more of the season.

After the fire we went back inside and Dick & John got their guitars out, along with a song sheet from the 70's of songs I haven't sung in over 30 years. Songs that brought back so many memories! "One Tin Soldier", "Pass it On", "I Wish We'd All Been Ready", etc., etc., etc.,!!!!! What fun!

What a gift this day was! My most unlikely source (Truman Capote) sums it up perfectly with these words which I love!! "I could leave the world with today in my eyes." It was just that kind of day!!

Survivor Sisters

On Saturday afternoon I had lunch with other women from New City who are breast cancer survivors, my Survivor Sisters. What a sweet time of sharing honestly from the heart, praying for each other, loving each other! The awareness we share of the brevity and beauty of life binds us together. I love them! The very cool, cool thing is that I had an acquaintance with all of these women before I received my diagnosis - our shared disease has only made that relationship deeper. And if that nasty cancer comes back for any of us I know we'll be there for each other - thank you, Lord, for this cushion of grace!Who would know by the smiles on our faces that cancer has invaded our bodies?! We are living life, changed by the experience, but not defeated! Thankful for each moment we're given! Gay, our hostess, handed out fun goodie bags which included a great article by John Piper, "Don't Waste Your Cancer" - an excellent read! (Faithful blog readers will notice that I've gone back to the curls - I couldn't stand spending time with that blow dryer and curling iron!) Wash and wear hair is the best!

April Showers

Last Sunday afternoon Bre had a shower at Jess Sander's home on Lookout Mtn. which was hosted by Jess and Jessica Cofer. We had such a sweet time! The group of ladies was a mixture of friends from New City and Young Life folks.

Here's a few pictures of guests - Bre & Anne, Courtney, Bre & Mariann, Bre & Marimom!
After Bre opened her gifts we had an opportunity to just tell her how much we loved her, what the Lord has taught us through her, and how much we'll miss her! We also had a time of prayer for her and Dan and their future life together. The reality that she won't be living with us for much longer is starting to sink in. What a gift our time with her has been!

Listen to your Life

"Listen to your life. All moments are key moments." (Frederick Buechner)

*Watching the 1929 Cecil B. De Mille silent movie, "King of Kings" w/ my kindred spirit Denise at beautiful St. Paul's Episcopal

*Hearing the "Hallelujah Chorus" on Easter morning and remembering mom

*Eating crawfish in LA and smiling at God's movement in our lives

*Spending 1 delicious hour at McKay's Used Books without my cell phone

*Hearing the front door open and seeing our roomie Brea come in

*Walking the bridge in the eerie aftermath of a rainy day w/ my Dale Allen

*Sweet staff devotional time and a reminder of how BIG He is!

*Middle of the day phone calls from my big brothers

*Dinner conversation w/ Victoria & Lexi and a peek into their world

Easter Wknd. in Louisiana

We spent this past weekend in St. Francisville, LA - our last visit with Dan before he becomes a married man. Bre was already there since Wednesday. It is a really fun, interesting place to visit. The Lord has provided folks to surround Dan and Bre with love and care and that does a long distance parent's heart good! It is just so fun to think about the path that Dan has taken to wind up in Louisiana and how the Lord gets His people to where He wants them to be. It's a funny fit in a way - a Dutchman from West MI in the Deep South of Louisiana! But it's so clear that it's exactly where he and Bre are supposed to be! It looks like they've found a bigger place to rent so they won't have to start married life together in the shotgun house after all! Here's a few pictures from our time there which included our first ever crawfish boil:-)

Dan's bedroom/Young Life office/storage room/etc. He hasn't slept on a bed since he's lived in the shotgun house, just an air mattress. With the addition of some of Bre's belongings and shower gifts this room is packed! Bre in the kitchen - the bulkhead is full of skit stuff for Young Life club!

A big ol' batch of crawfish before they meet their final fate in the boiling cauldron!

Dan thinks its funny to put a stinky, live crawfish near the face of his fiancee - Bre didn't agree!

And I'm pretty sure that's not a suggested way to woo your beloved in the book that Dan's YL committee chair gave him when he first moved to Louisiana!

After the crawfish are cooked with seasonings, potatoes, onions, and smoked sausage they're poured out over the table and you get to it! You seperate the tail from the body and eat that meat - yum! We haven't graduated to the fine art of sucking the juice out of the head yet - we'll save that for next time???In just a little over a month these guys will be married! There's a good possibility that Bre will be able to get a job teaching Spanish at the high school AND the house they're going to rent is right across the street! Isn't God good about being in the details?!

Baptism

"Do you now unreservedly commit your child to God, and promise, in humble reliance upon divine grace, that you will endeavor to set before him a godly example, that you will pray with and for him, that you will teach him the doctrines of our holy religion, and that you will strive, by all the means of God's appointment, to bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?"

Another special part of our time in Indy last weekend was to witness Crew's baptism. Watching Mark & Tara take these vows brought to mind the many covenantal blessings of God - His leading and love in our family's life, His presence on our journey. Special days like this in our family's history make me wish my precious mom was sitting next to me - I wish she could have met this great-grandson!

Crew looked quite dapper in his first tie and little man shoes:-) He was sweetly oblivious to all the love and attention showered on him. His personality is very happy and laid back. I think he has much to teach me and I am trying to listen well.

Bre & Joe came with up with us for the weekend!
Great Grandpa & Grandma Vander Woude came to share in the fun too!

Mark & Tara go to Redeemer Presbyterian Church - Jason Dorsey is their pastor. Crew had a dirty diaper right before he was supposed to be baptized so he was just a little late! Probably the fastest Tara's ever changed a diaper in her life as a mom so far!

A freshly baptized Crew peeking over the pew at his adoring relatives. Delicious lunch after church and then back in the Camry to head back to Chattanooga! I continue to praise God for His love and restoration after the sadness and loss of the events of 2005. I praise Him for His grace and goodness and His generational love!
"On the road again" this weekend to see Dan in Louisiana! Bre is there already - their last visit as single folks! God is good - all the time! All the time - God is good!

Happy 1st Birthday!

We had a wonderful weekend in Indy celebrating Crew's 1st Birthday! His mom and dad did a beautiful job of incorporating Korean and American traditions. Check out Tara's blog at www.kajok-vanderwoude.blogspot.com for more pictures and Tara's perspective on this special day.
A child's first birthday in Korea is a very significant event as in the past the infant mortality rate was so high that to reach the age of 1 year was quite a feat. The display in the above picture was Crew's dol sang - his birthday table, in preparation for his doljabee ceremony. Several items are placed on the table representing different occupations and future skills. Tradition says that whatever the child reaches for first will predict what he'll be or do when he's grown. Crew reached for the calculator (represented the engineering profession) and a ruler (he'll be skilled with his hands).


The food for the party was also a delicious combination of Korean & American. Tara's friends Donghee & Youngyoon did an amazing job of preparing traditional Korean dishes and were very patient with the rest of us as we helped them. It involved several hours of preparation!

Tara had cards by each of the dishes with the name of the dish, it's pronunciation, ingredients, etc. Chopsticks were optional!

At first Crew wasn't too sure about the chocolate cake and that bright thing on top!

But once his daddy gave him his first ever taste of sugary cake he loved it! Back to veggies, fruit and tofu after this but he made the most of every bite!
What a special day for this family! Tara and Mark were very mindful of what Crew Seonju's birth mom must be feeling this day too. Crew will be brought up with a knowledge and appreciation for his birth country. Thank you, Lord, for bringing this special little boy into all of our lives!