A Lesson from Crew

Babies are so fresh from God. I think we should listen to them closely. Crew does this thing when he goes outside - he looks toward the sun and closes his eyes and gets this peaceful, happy look on his face as he feels the warmth of the sun and the breath of the breeze against his skin. It's so sweet to see his pure pleasure when he does this.

And it makes me think that I should spend more time gazing at the Son and letting His love wash over me and revel in His attention and experience the pure pleasure of being absolutely and completely cherished.

Monday Musings

I spent the day at the hospital w/ my Little Sister and her mom as Victoria had to go in for a tonsillectomy. Relating to her mom has always been a challenge for me as I get frustrated with her lack of mothering skills and the effects that has on V's life. My self-righteousness can rear its ugly head big time. I wish I could say that during all the hours we spent together today I loved her with a Jesus kind of love, but there was alot of imperfect attitudes firmly in place. Another work of the heart in progress.

Last week another friend of ours, Danielle, had a major trauma in her life. Her mom had a severe athsma attack at home. Danielle (13 yrs. old) called 911 and performed CPR but her mom passed away. I can't even imagine what she's thinking and feeling right now.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or what, but lately it seems like every time I turn around there's another heart ache happening with folks I love....
A friend dealing w/ brain cancer, another friend's son getting injured in Iraq, a marriage in trouble, car accidents, strained relationships.

I am thankful that there is Someone who is aware of all of these situations and that He is working through them and He will receive glory from them. He really is. He really will.

I love this quote from Bob Benson in "Come Share the Being"...." I think I am beginning to believe that the most fixed thing of all about God is His very flexibility. It is His way of showing up at the most unexpected times and places. It seems that part of what He was trying to say with His birth in a manger was precisely this - don't ever be surprised at where you'll find me - you can look for me anywhere and anytime and everywhere and all the time."

Praying that I won't let anything keep me from living in this awareness of His presence in all the circumstances of life. Knowing that without this truth none of it would make any sense at all.

Parting Shots

The first time Crew's picture appeared on my computer screen and we knew he was going to be part of Mark & Tara's forever family, I felt this overwhelming sense of love and protection and possession. Friends who are grandparents told me of this powerful emotion but I was still surprised at its intensity. After spending these last few days with Crew and his wonderful mom and dad I'm even more head over heels in love with this baby! Family of three!Being silly in the tub!

Perfect pose, Crew! No need for editing!
Hanging out on the deck

Reading daddy's college alumni magazine!

Posing for yet another picture by the grandma papparazzi!

Fun on the pony at Meijers!

Fun w/ Crew - Day Two!

Tara & I wore Crew out with our shopping this morning at Super Target and the Greenwood Mall. He started out in the stroller but wound up in his preferred mode of transportation, the baby carrier. He slept for about 20 minutes - just long enough to take the edge off his need for an afternoon nap.

When we got home he had a delicious meal of pasta and applesauce and we tried to convince him a nap would be a great idea (me and Tara needed one!) but to no avail! He played and laughed and bounced in his crib for an hour and we finally decided he won that round! It was a beautiful day so Crew and I headed out with the super deluxe Radio Flyer!
As you can see this made Crew pucker up with love for his adoring grandma and very happy! We went up and down the sidewalk on his road several times and saw all kinds of interesting things and had a great conversation. We hung out together outside for about an hour until Mark/aka Da Da came home from work. This event is always a cause for much excitement usually involving body bouncing and head butting! His mommy is working for awhile tonight so Mark fed Crew and had a little father/son time before an early bedtime.

What fun to see Mark and Tara as parents - they are doing a great job! Crew is just too much fun and I'm so grateful for my time here! After Crew went to bed Mark and I played Scrabble and I want it to be known that I beat him soundly:-) I feel a rematch coming on though!

Fun in Indy!

"No more pictures, Grandma!!" It's just hard to resist taking pictures of this little boy! We had a fun day. We went to the Indianapolis Children's Museum which was amazing - absolute kid heaven! After a 2 1/2 hour afternoon nap (this kid is a fantastic sleeper) Mark came home from work and we all went to Mama's House for an authentic Korean meal. I used chopsticks for my first time ever:-) It was a delicious meal! After dinner we went to a Korean grocery store to buy food for Crew's tol - his first birthday party which will be in just a couple of weeks. After Crew went to bed Mark and Tara beat me soundly in Scrabble. What fun to be here!

Crew Time!!

Tomorrow I leave for Indy for a few days! I intend to love and spoil this little boy shamelessly! Dale is pretty jealous but he'll get to see him in a couple of weeks when we go back up for his 1st birthday and his baptism. It's been crazy busy at work this week but I've had this upcoming visit to look forward to and keep me going! I'm also looking forward to sweet time with Mark and Tara. Bre came back from MI today - not too long before she and Dan reside in the same state! Joe is coming back from a missions trip to the Dominican - he called and sounds tired but excited about the experience! Thank you, Lord, for my family!!

perfectday

"As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes." (from "A Christmas Memory" by Truman Capote)

Yesterday was that kind of day.

*morning coffee watching "the official sunrise of the Tennessee Vols" w/ my Dale Allen
*hearing an amazing story of God's grace and cleansing in Sunday School
*hugs and love from Shirley, Kris, Rachel,JoAnn,Robbie,Ruth
*worship at New City where my heart is free
*burgers on the deck
*sunny & 70!
*bike ride from the dam to downtown w/ sorbet at Clumpies as my sweet reward
*a phone call from a very excited, newly engaged friend!
*an evening walk on the bridge with a dear friend sharing life

I used to write quite often in my journal "it was a perfect day". During the dark, scary days of 2005 I wondered where that girl had gone. Yesterday I realized she was back and I'm grateful.

Praying our Goodbyes

I have never been very good at goodbyes and it looks like there may be some significant ones on the horizon. A year ago I found a precious little book (0r did it find me) by Joyce Rupp entitled "Praying our Goodbyes" and it was a band aid to my heart as I was dealing with the loss of my folks, the loss of a sense of security of good health after the cancer diagnosis, the beginning of the empty nest phase.
She writes about the reality of the hello-goodbye-hello pattern which plays out in so many areas of our lives. To love is to hurt. Rupp writes, "The blessedness in the ache within us is that when we grieve over the farewells, we both give ourselves and find ourselves. We become one with whoever and whatever has met us on our journey. We choose to invest ourselves deeply even though we know that the investment might cost us the price of goodbyes and letting go."

Choosing to invest yourself in the life of another human being comes with a price but is there really an option? "Pilgrim hearts must invest in the present and look down the road with the strength of good memories pressing them forward."

"I think of Jesus, always traveling on in his years of ministry, stopping to catch his breath and his heart in mountain moments with the Father whose love was drawing him home." The pain of goodbyes makes me desire those "mountain moments" more. It makes me long for that last great hello when I'll be with Him forever.

Spring Break Trip

Joe is leaving tonight for a week in the Dominican Republic with a large group from the Pres House from UTC. We are so excited for this opportunity for him! He'll be working with children and youth and also playing on the baseball team. Thanks so much to those of you who helped make this possible! Please keep the team in your prayers! Another noteworthy Joe item is that he's teaching himself how to play the guitar and played at Club tonight at East Ridge with another leader!

Dan was home for a visit this past weekend and it was great to see him! Only a little over 2 months until their wedding! I'm so proud of how they've handled their long distance relationship with maturity and perspective! As much as we'll miss sweet Brea's presence in our home we are so happy that they'll finally be together under the same roof in the same town! They'll probably go through withdrawal when they realize they don't have to speak on their cell phones if they want to talk to each other!
As I think about the future days of empty nest this quote by Henri Nouwen comes to mind: "Children are gifts from God. They are given to us so that we can offer them a safe, loving place to grow to inner and outer freedom. They are like strangers who ask for hospitality, become good friends, and then leave again to continue their journey."

Go Big Orange!

Crew takes the possibility of being a Vols fan very seriously! Grandpa explained to him that it's a high calling and one day the two of them will share the amazing experience of walking in to Neyland Stadium and see the team burst through the T!! Crew waits with bated breath!

Busted!

Every week day for the past 4 1/2 years I've gone to the downtown post office every morning to pick up the mail for work. Like 99.9% of the other "regulars" I don't put money in the parking meter but just run in and run out, staying in the building for an average of 3 minutes. Yesterday when I came out I saw one of our dear meter maids right by the Camry and I ran up to her and said "It's me, that's my car!" thinking that my sweet dispostion and presence would make her change her mind but she just looked me in the eye, smiled, and slapped the ticket on my windshield. I think it was the smile that bugged me the most! So that was how my Friday started, with an $11 parking ticket - ARGHHH!!!!

The rest of the day was sweet with a good day at work, a great walk in our beautiful sunny and 70 degree weather, Leadership at night at the office (this whole YL part of my life continues to be a serendipity!) and finally a date with my husband to the Mtn. Opry to listen to varying degrees of talent - pretty cheap date when all you have to pay is whatever you feel inclined to toss in the Bi Lo grocery bag that comes by for the offering.

Rainy Night Reflections

Here's a quote I found recently that I really like....."Someone once said that to recognize the signs of God, pay attention to your stirrings. Look closely when you feel the swell of joy within, or the tightness as your throat closes up in sorrow. Live in that moment, poke around its corners, and feel the texture of its walls. Sit with it for awhile, long enough to sense the presence of God sitting with you. Live attentively - Learn to let go - Develop intimacy with God."

It is a challenge for my naturally hurried, harried self to live this way, but I desire to more and more. Two words that have been with me alot during the past year of recovery and restoration have been "just breathe"....that's really all I need to do in the next moment, the rest is just bonus. To truly live in "this" moment, not in the past or the future and miss what this moment holds. Just breathe.........